Becoming A Buddhist

I just thought I would share with you some ideas that had been brought to me in the days before I became an "official" lay Buddhist, and my take on the ceremony in general.

I had the wonderful oppourtunity to walk with the monk who had been at my monastery before Thich Huyen An had come. He was a very gentle speaking yet grounded man in his faith and beliefs. I had come early for weekly meditation to do a bit of walking meditation beforehand, and he came up to the window and said, "I'm sorry...are you looking for someone?"

I knew we were going to get along perfectly.

There was this teacher figure in my head that I needed in my practice, and I had been a little disappointed in the temple I attend merely because English wasn't widely spoken. There was little oppourtunity for a dharma talk, much less a question-and-answer approach to the practice. I was very relieved to find this young monk to be generous with his answers.

My first question of him was merely the difference between Mahayana and Therevada practice, to which he replied, "there may be many roads to Dallas, but when headed there, you get to Dallas". I figured I needed to be more specific, so I told him of the compassion, forgiveness, and lovingkindness meditations I had encountered through Noah Levine, and I wondered why Mahayana (and more specifically Zen) practitioners felt mindfulness and breath awareness practice was sufficient rather than focusing on specific qualities to manifest. His answer was very simple, but it opened a new respect for Zen practice.

He said, "Think of a household. When you need the light, you flip a switch. When you need a blender, you turn on the blender. When you need the computer, you turn on the computer. When you need the tv, you turn on the tv. It is not a different practice. There is not a generator for each item you need. It is the same generator. This is the same way we view Mahayana practice. We do not need different generators for each problem we have. All exists within the mind. Therefore, train the mind, train every aspect of your life."

What an amazing analogy! Oftentimes, before I began my practice, I wondered what the point was....sitting and staring at a wall can in no way help my life. This is not the way I was raised! Little did I know I was doing myself a great disservice, not allowing myself to truly experience each moment as it came.

Not that I am against any other forms of meditation. I enjoy a good forgiveness meditation just as much as anyone. However, I do believe we should really focus on a good foundation. If we cannot sit with ourselves as we are in the present moment, how can we ever feel confident in bringing up aspects of ourselves that we are not comfortable with?

Anyway, I found that very helpful. As for the ceremony, I have never felt more welcomed in my life. Although most of the service was in Vietnamese and I had to have a monk sitting beside me to translate the master's words for me, the precepts still rang true. I felt connected to everyone there...I truly have a sangha! Moreover, my wife and mother were there to support me. It couldn't have been better. I now can enter the temple a new person...a reincarnation of a past self that was not fully committed to practice. I can say that Ryan Lassiter was infused with wrong view, wrong perception, and so forth. Now, with a dharma name, Chán Trí Tuệ, I am fully committed. I sit not for myself, not for realization, but for the betterment of everyone.

There have been many posts in the buddhoblogosphere pertaining to the effectiveness of a virtual sangha, and the necessity of in-person sanghas. I have stayed out of the conversation merely because I didn't have an opinion. However, I think I have come to a conclusion. I don't believe that virtual sanghas are insufficient. I believe they have just as much merit as any other communities. Most of my progress in study has been due to the on line community. There is just so much information at everyone's fingertips!! There is no reason why a virtual community wouldn't be just as good. I do know, however, that I wouldn't have had the same experience and motivation to practice without being there. That definitely would have been missing. The important part is to keep practicing, not worried about in-home, in-temple, or in-virtual land, but always in the moment, in right effort, and in harmony with the world around us.

A musing or two....

I have recently been thinking a lot about reason....I understand that reason has a great history behind it, and I know that there are many schools of reason, but I'm starting to fully grasp the true nature of a lot of problems.

Reason is utterly subjective.

It's almost ridiculous. I would think that reason would be somewhat of a given...almost a moral code. I guess there is another conclusion one could come to with these thoughts....

I'm getting ahead of myself.

From the beginning....I could assume that there are some things we can all agree on with a shared degree of reason: One should not kill another. Gravity does exist as a force on the Earth. What we perceive and have named "red" is red.

Seems pretty easy, right?

Well, that's fine and good, but there come these topics that seem to follow reason, but people have these odd little quirks with...what are they called...opinions?

For example, it seems as if reason would tell us that all of our citizens have a right to three things: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Okay, that was agreed upon in this country's conception. Life is one of those, correct? Therefore, health is one of those? Am I being reasonable still? These things should not be infringed upon by any system of government, system of belief, or any system whatsoever (a monetary system, perhaps?).

I guess I'm not correct at all. I could start back from the beginning...one should not kill another. Some people are perfectly fine with killing others, as long as their ideals and systems of government are different from our own..

Or religion, for example...I don't find salvation, resurrection, or ultimatums that reasonable, yet some people will stake their lives on it. It's not anything wrong with them. It's merely their reason not lining up with mine. We could go on and on like this.

It's very odd. Back to the killing idea again...when someone is perfectly fine with killing another person, oftentimes that is considered an imbalance in perception....a slight lunacy, if you will.

So perhaps there is a true logic after all...and we are all on varying scales of lunacy.

I like that idea. Sometimes you are completely illogical and crazy, and other times I am. That's all there is to it. Just because you and I see differently doesn't mean we have to disagree. We just have to realize our imbalances and go about our way, trying to find the TRUTH.

How does one go about finding the truth for themselves?

Oh, I don't know...a contemplative practice, perhaps?

I'm simply fascinated by this concept! What I find completely reasonable, others find offensive and life-threatening.

Odd.

By the way, I would like to throw out a congrats to our president for his recent award. I think it is good to place encouragement where it is needed, regardless of the "reason" of others. Just think: if everyone would have only bad things to say about a president of this fine country, then....
Oh, wait. That has been true for eight years!

Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

I think I have come to many realizations over the past months, and I felt like it was time for me to say something again. I'll jump right in.

• What I have to say is not all that important, and I don't want a bunch of junk being accredited to me.

It's funny. I thought when I started this that I had a lot to say. I knew that I would just be overflowing with interesting ideas and cute anecdotes outlining my path through Buddhism. However, as I fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I am finding my words to be very useless.
Don't get me wrong; I love writing, and I love the comments. They help. There seems to be this intrinsic suffering involved with having a blog. There must always be something new to read. Something exciting! Something thought provoking. Something detailing what it's like to be me right now.
I think this is coming from recent posts in Zen Habits, which outline the benefit and process of making your life a little simpler. Weeding out unnecessary things. It alleviates a lot of suffering, not having to provide post after post...keeping all of you on the edge of your seats every day. Who do I think I am? Carrie Bradshaw?
Also, I find that when I am not really involved emotionally in my writing, I end up filling space. There is an intense problem with that. Space is important. Space begets thought. You don't want your initial point to be digested through pointless banter. It's not beneficial for readers.

• As I progress in my practice, I am able to see and understand others' suffering easier.

I was very skeptical of sitting at first. My opinions of "new age" practices and sitting in silence were hard to get over. However, as I fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I realize my own suffering. I feel it, I connect, and I let it pass.
What an amazing practice! "Why do I suffer?" "What is causing this terrible feeling?" "How much power does it really have?" These are not only amazing questions, but they offer amazing, shocking, revealing, and sometimes painful answers. My suffering is caused by my attachment to self, my attachment to permanence...all the things that we grow so fond of and then realize they don't really exist. It's life changing.
As I realize my own suffering, it only becomes easier to let it pass, and I can't help but notice others' suffering as well. I know most of us are caught in this sea of confusion, denial, and attachment. It's suffocating us. Rather than run away, (with Gazelle intensity, as Dave would say) we feed it. We throw all of our attention into it, and let all of our time become consumed by this false sense of self....it's saddening.
Whoa Ryan, you're getting a little depressing. Not at all...let me tell you! This is a discovery that I cherish more than....well, a lot of things. Where I would normally lose my temper, go off the deep end, start ranting and raving, ruining others' opinions of me, I find deep understanding and compassion. I know they suffer, and I wish them well. It's a state we are all in, regardless of our paths.

• Thoughts are not what define you..but your reactions can.

I look back on past mistakes, and I sometimes cringe. How could I have let such things happen? What was I thinking? Well...the truth is, it doesn't matter. As I fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I realize thoughts happen. They arise, and they fall. If you don't believe me, go into a room by yourself, and sit for an hour...count your breaths. One to ten...ten to one...back to ten... They don't stay long, and one thought has no more weight than another.
So before you beat yourself up about the next "terrible thought" you have, remember that it's not a defining quality. Right at this moment, I could be thinking, "Man, Rush Limbaugh listeners should really be put to a public death" (Much love everyone...just an example...) or I could be thinking "I could really go for some hot water and Vietnamese Moon Cake right now"... Where does the definition of me as a person occur? Well...when I said or wrote them really....without the action, i.e. attachment, there is nothing wrong with the thought itself. I can dismiss the lesser as silly and rather menacing, and the latter, at this time, unnecessary and unimportant.
Thought is thought; action is action. I need to spend more time filtering my thought. More than not my thoughts become actions...afterward I feel anything from relieved to inappropriate, or anywhere in between. Why not be a little more mindful about our action. That will drastically change your view on thought.

• Conflict rarely alleviates suffering, much less settles differences.

I used to be a very confrontational person. It gave me great pleasure to tell anyone when they were wrong and to enlighten them with my intense insight and knowledge. However, as I fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I'm trying to get in touch with the human experience in general. I come from a long personal history of hating people as a rule. I would always spout my babble, "One person is beautiful, insightful, and caring....but more than one person, this idea of "people", ruins everything. It is their nature." I am becoming more and more uneasy in that position. I can't even place my finger on the source of my changing thoughts.
People are just a collection of these persons...these things I find so intriguing...I know people make mistakes, and when you collect mistakes you end up with this huge ball of regret, definitely something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. We don't really think about people as a ball of insight, or an accumulation of years of experience....a source of intense wisdom and patience. We've all suffered, and we are all right where we are. The only difference is the actions we take based on these otherwise meaningless thoughts. Karma, anyone?
It doesn't seem as if conflict ever sounds like a good idea to me...It glorifies this attachment to self. What better way to defer non-attachment than to feel as if you know not only your path, but the path of those opposing you? It's a slippery slope, and a rather controversial topic, but there is this grace involved in compassion, and I don't think I have ever witnessed an instance where compassion and understanding wouldn't have made a situation better.

Needless to say, I think quality over quantity is best for me, rather than the norm of the twitter-obsessed nonsense of the age.

Forgiveness is Divine, But Never Pay Full Price For Late Pizza

Forgiveness.

I don't think you get it.

Forgiveness.

Sink in yet?

I didn't think so.

I don't think we get forgiveness at all. It's too hard. What a concept! I'm not talking about the mother saying to the three year old, "Now kiss and make up.". That's not it. That's not good enough.

I'm talking about the revolutionary type of forgiveness. Forgiving people no one else will. Forgiving people that you didn't think you could.

It's an amazing feeling.

I've dabbled in a forgiveness meditation for a little bit, and I realized how difficult it is, and how much I don't understand and utilize this concept. I can't forgive myself for half of what I've done, much less others.

I'm not talking about forgiving actions, because that isn't necessary. I'm talking about forgiving actors. It's truly something not to carry around all of that pain.

Try it. It's intoxicating.

I have more to say, but I want you to try it first. Try a forgiveness meditation.

Here....I'll even provide one.

http://www.theopengrove.com/dwnlds/news/ForgivenessMeditation.pdf

Look out for part two! Let's discuss this; it's too important not to.


With metta

-Ryan

The Preta Realm

I always thought the Buddhist realms of existence were interesting, and I've learned to seek out higher realms for myself, and notice other realms in my behaviour. Here are the different realms as traditional Buddhists see it:

the God realm: Easiest to reach enlightenment through

Demi-God realm: very jealous realm

Human realm: When your focus should be on the Dhamma

animal realm: realm of ignorance

Preta realm: the hungry ghost realm

hell realms: why must there be more than one?

The realm I am most drawn to is the Preta realm, or the hungry ghost realm. In traditional Buddhist depictions (I always bother to say traditional in hopes that you would understand that not all traditional beliefs are my own...I love the use of Progressive Buddhism as a rule) this realm is filled with beings with really skinny necks and huge stomachs. They are never satisfied...they have an unsatiable appetite for something specific and when they actually view food or water, they are so delusional that they believe they are seeing blood, bile....all the disgusting things they believe they don't want. They are running from their own freedom.

Doesn't that sound strangely familiar to Dante's third circle?

Anyway, I keep thinking about this realm...and how we could partially be stuck in every realm, in different aspects of our lives. This realm is the easiest to recognize throughout our daily lives.

How often do we run after things that we know aren't good for us? I talked in an earlier post about chasing delusions, and I think that ties in here nicely, so refer back to that one, if you will. That thought actually spawned this one last night.

Addiction. Seems to be a constant trend Recovery is becoming a natural part of many people's lives, however AA and other groups are specific in their addictions. They have the addictions that can quickly kill you and ruin your life. Easily said, and easily proven. Millions of alcoholics and addicts ruin their lives and kill themselves and ruin everyone else's life they know in the process. They need alternate lifestyles and support groups in order to alleviate said addictions.

But look beyond the obvious. Look at accepted addictions.

According to research from the Weston A. Price Foundation, the average person has over 600 12-ounce servings of soft drinks per year. Also, since 1978 soft drink consumption has tripled for boys and doubled for girls.

Over 112 million people voted for American Idol contestants....

Right now, over $888,000,000 has been spent in the War Against Terrorism.

What kind of addictions have we gotten ourselves into? Obesity is at an all-time high, we can't control what seeds are being watered in our minds, and we choose to spend our country's money on war. It's getting really bad.

I think it's great we have focused on the addictions that ruin the body, but it's time to focus on those that ruin our spirits. No more should we allow reality television to fill the void where a marriage should be. Don't let it team up with video games to raise your children, either. Drop the soda and grab a water. Understand the true meaning of peace instead of the plastic earrings that you wear. It is a symbol of something that used to have meaning. When did it get lost?

Of course, I am speaking to myself as much as I am to anyone. An old Buddhist saying goes something like "if you let a drop of water fall on a rock, it will do nothing, but if you continue to let it fall, it will shape the rock"...something like that.

The hungry ghost will never be fed. It will always be what it is. Hungry, and a ghost.

Nothing more.

Just food for thought. (The healthy kind)

-Ryan

Distilled In Impermanence

It's an odd and rather dark coincidence that I write this on the day of MJ's early passing, but I figure it's as good a time as any.

I recently finished Geri Larkin's Love Dharma: Relationship Wisdom from Enlightened Buddhist Women. I adore this woman, and I think that she explains Buddhist belief in a very progressive, Western way. She was the one who first got me interested in Buddhism. This was a book my wife picked up for me, and I was a little unsure about it when I read the first two chapters, because it was obviously written for women. However, it became a pleasure to read. It had many good insights into the female practitioners of Buddhism, and I learned a lot from what I read.

There was one story in particular that moved me, and I repeat it to everyone I see. It reached me in a totally odd way.

It goes like this:

"In Buddha's time, a young woman named Kisagotami was married to a banker's son who treated her like garbage. Her in-laws were just as cruel. The only person who loved her was her little boy; then he died.

"Kisagotami went nuts-literally. She dressed the dead toddler and carried him on her hip, going door to door, asking people for medicine. An old man told her that the only person he knew who had the right medicine was Buddha.

"Kisagotami hunts him down and asks if he can cure her baby. He says yes but first she needs to get him a mustard seed from a house where nobody has died. She agrees. Going from house to house, the young mother discovers that everyone has known death - in one house it was in the past week, in another a year ago. In a third house a father had died, in another a mother or child. Not a single house was without death.

"Suddenly realizing that everyone was in the same boat, Kisagotami was healed."

Now...the message is clear. Impermanence surrounds us. We all die. It happens. We all lose one another. It is the way life is.

I took a different lesson from this tale.

There doesn't have to be a miracle saviour. There doesn't have to be some magic trick to prove wisdom. Buddha shows us here that mindfulness in itself is a miracle. Just being aware of the world around us, distilled in impermanence, is full of miracles. Every breath is a miracle.

You have to quit waiting for some illustrious imposition for your happiness. It's not going to come when you want it, if at all. So be mindful! Learn to love each other now! The only thing we are absolutely certain of is that we will not be here forever.

Make your moments count.

-Ryan

Here is a link to Geri Larkin's book, if you care to read it!

Opportunity

So, I received an interesting text today. It read:

"It's frustrating how some people have all these amazing opportunities to become something and they pass them up. Then there is me who never has an opportunity and I'm watching these people."

I wasn't sure quite how to respond. (I always have this problem. I don't know whether asking for clarification helps, but I never do it.) At first glance, it looked as if this person wanted to be commiserated with...but the nature of that particular person told me that was definitely not the case. Then I thought, "Perhaps this person is down on themselves." Wrong again.

So I typed the only thing I could think. Not because I had no other option, but because it was the only truth that needed to be said....and I learned so much from it.

I responded, "Every moment is your opportunity. Smile and breathe."

Does everything come back to mindfulness? Absolutely everything??

To simply put it, yes. Yes it does.

Warning: I'm sure that I am, as I usually do, taking words from Thich Nhat Hanh's mouth...but being who he is, I am going to shine in that fact. (Since he has written a book entitled Present Moment, Wonderful Moment, all of my "findings" I'm sure will be there.)

Opportunity...that thorn in everyone's side...the crap shoot of all of our lives. Without this fictional object, nothing would ever happen..What kind of power does that place on these opportunities?

None.

Why does man make such ideas as to create chains for himself? It's not like we are waiting, our full potential held tight for this thing to come our way. Every moment, every breath, is our opportunity. It's all we have. Opportunity is life. How many ways can I say it? Every sentence spoken to you...every smile you give or receive (give more than you receive...it will make the world a better place)....every bird that flies by. It's the rippling effect.

So don't waste another moment! They are all opportunities!

/Bows

Ryan